Thursday, October 21, 2010

Osborne's missionaries on a rocky road

Osborne's missionaries on a rocky road : David Cameron and Nick Clegg went out from Westminster like two clergymen who decided it was time to do some mission work. They were filled with the desire to spread the good news of George Osborne's cuts, or at least to persuade people that the cuts were not all bad. They ended up in a school in the Midlands perched on two high stools, taking questions from members of the public. Mr Cameron broke the ice by saying: "Thank you to Val Doonican for lending us the stools."

It is curious to reflect that if Mr Cameron had not been lost to a higher calling, he might have scraped a living as a stand-up comic. He likes performing before an audience, and did not sound entirely insincere when he said: "It's great to be out here in the heart of the country."

But in his capacity as team vicar, Mr Cameron allowed his curate, Mr Clegg, to do the greater part of the preaching. It is not just that Mr Clegg could do with the practice. In an intense five-day period in May, Mr Clegg underwent a "conversion experience" that led him to espouse the fundamental tenets of the Osbornite faith.

Mr Cameron may have reckoned it was his deputy, full of the convert's simple ardour, who would prove the most convincing defender of the doctrine.

Not that Mr Clegg's own path had been easy. A student asked him what it was like to have to renounce his previous faith, which included a solemn pledge to oppose any increase in university fees. Mr Clegg said in an emotional tone: "I feel really bad, really bad."

We do not pretend to know what went through the team vicar's mind as he sat with furrowed brown and heard his curate's confession. It is possible that Mr Cameron feared Mr Clegg was going to break down, but it could also be that he wanted the poor chap to know others were sharing his pain.

For Mr Cameron broke in with a confession of his own: "I've had to do the same thing with child benefit." Mr Cameron said he gave pledges about child benefit "and I've had to eat those words".

We are delighted to say that Mr Cameron looked in good health on this diet, and even Mr Clegg, though like all curates rather on the pale side, seemed as if he might survive another four and a half years.

Margaret Lynch, 52, who suffered from multiple sclerosis, said the Government was "picking on the weakest", but Mr Clegg insisted that the cuts were fair, while Mr Cameron said the rich would pay most.

The outing had achieved something useful: it had shown that Mr Cameron and Mr Clegg could visit Middle England without being torn limb from limb. The public was worried about the cuts, but treated the apostles of the Osbornite faith with cautious politeness.

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